Self Pity

by Spilling the Beans

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released April 6, 2012

screamingmom records

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about

Spilling the Beans Houston, Texas

we are Ali (vocals) and Andrew (most insurments). We are married with a 1 year old son. I'm a stay-at-home mom and i love it! but moms need outlets too. Andrew's solo stuff goes by Radioflyer. his reverbnation link and my blog and facebook link are right below this. Thanks for listening! ... more

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Track Name: Last Night
last monday night i saw him
he was looking back at me
i thought that i might get ther courage
and then he asked me out to eat
last monday night
last monday night

i met him at the park down the street
he suggested Taco C
we took the bus, number 33
we snuck beer onto the patio
last tuesday night
last tuesday night

i woke up next to him the very next day
he was staying in a house on west clay
no water or electricity
i was gonna leave but he said stay
last wednesday night
last wednesday night

the flowers on the floor were red and white
the note said 'meet me at the show tonight'
i put on my very best dress, it was black, sleeveless
with red lace down the side
and borrowed my friend's bike
i borrowed my friend's bike

i saw him there he was already drunk, so i had to catch up
my friends were there, they helped me out
got pretty shitty and i scrapped my knee
went outside to pee
thats where i saw him sitting there
alone in the dark
alone in the dark

he got up out of nowhere
he said 'i saw you over there, talkin shit with all your friends.
you think your better in your slutty dress
lookin like a mess'
thats when i called him a punk bitch
last thursday night
last thursday night

dont embarrass me infront of my friends
they already think your a cunt
you cant shut me up i said
walking towards the car
and then he put his hands around my neck
it went too far
it went too far

i cant remember how i got home
but i woke up with a black eye
i called my friend, she said 'fuck that guy
and did you hear he overdosed and died last night'
he fuckin died last night
he had it coming last night
last monday night
Track Name: Self Pity
everybodys changing
i am changing too
makes sense to me if you feel blue
but they say change is good for you

sunlight, it will recharge me
on days like these
when i'm drained or broken hearted
i only have myself to blame

night time wolves are calling
calling out for me
its easy for me to give into
the temptation to be carefree

all my friends, their at the party
partying without me
dont they care or think about me
do they notice that i am not there

self pity consumes me
when i dont go outside
its easy for me to fall into
a monotonous, hazy routine

i dont want advice or an answer
i know its inside of me
let me cry, just for tonight
tomorrow ill get back to reality

nobodys really changing
ill just have to make-do
makes sense to me if i feel blue
but they say change is good for you
Track Name: Whatever
grilled cheese
say please
and thankyou

watermelon
boy your smellin
like old bologne

why dont you come over we can take a shower together
you can wear your swimsuit or get in the nude
whatever

hot spagetti
are you ready
lets open up the windows

chedar cheesey fries
look me in the eyes
dont be nervous

why dont you come over we can sit on the couch together
you can touch my inner thigh or we can just get high
whatever

ice cream cone
call me on the phone
ill tell you what im wearing

rack of ribs
kiss me on the lips
ill show you up to my room

why dont you come over you can play me a song on your guitar
we can sit on the porch and ill wear tiny shorts
whatever

chips and queso
quiero un beso
adentro mis calzones

scrambled eggs
do you want me to beg
or get on my knees

why dont you come over i can make us a pot of coffee
we can get real jacked up and you can look at my butt
whatever

grilled cheese
say please and thankyou

watermelon
boy your smellin
like old bologne
Track Name: I Love You
i love you when your gone but also when your here
i love you in hte kitchen while im making your dinner
i love you
i love you

i love you when im angry or when im sad
i love you crying on the floor because im on my rag
i love you
i love you

i love you while i watch you give our son a bath
i love you you will always be the best ive ever had
i love you
i love you

i know, sometimes i dont say it enough
sometimes my stubborness, yea it can be kindof rough
but i love you

i love you sentimental, when your crying in the car
i love you when a song makes you question who you are
i love you
i love you

i love you in the morning when your farting on me
i love you in the night time when you cop a feel
i love you
i love you

i love you like an ore loves a boat in september
i love you like a kid loves chocolate in the winter
i love you
i love you

i know, sometimes i dont say it enough
but i do, i really do, i really do give a fuck
i love you

i love you when your stoned but im not in the mood
i love you with my big mouth being pretty rude
i love you
i love you

i love you when your dancing and feelin saucy!
i love you without coffee and your really bossy
i love you
i love you

i love you when we leave the door open when we pee
but most of all i love how you love me
i love you
i love you

i know, sometimes i dont say it enough
but honey like an addict i could never give you up
i love you
Track Name: Moment of Truth
Every end is a new begining
what was to come i didnt know the meaning
until you spoke
my senses all awoke
i got out of my bed and opened up the curtains

eyes so blue
it wasnt hard to see
the reflection inside of you
and the perfect parts of me

summer time and those bags of wine
everytime you blacked out
you proposed to me

mid july there were angels in the sky
fairy dust
and a pain in my side

messenger Positive
how much do you need to live?
and being humble
does it even count these days?

Carrier of life
the barrier from all thats evil
decisions to be made
opinions from the people

his life
pure and untouched
completely undifined
forgien to an older mind

moment of truth arrives
trust in two innocent eyes
looking up at me
all my fears just died

walking in new shoes
my whole world in my room
in this small apartment
with you two

every end is a new begining
what you've been through
its will change your being
now i teach he
honesty, integrity
a grown man, he'll be
only questions of his future remain
Track Name: Shut Up Susan
shut up susan
nobody cares anymore
everytime your boozin
i head towards the door
all your whining is driving me crazy

shut up susan
you got yourself into this mess
playing the victim
or the damsel in distress
all your crying is driving me crazy

shut up susan
your not foolin anyone
with your pretentious attitude
it makes me want to throw up
all your entitlement is driving me crazy

shut up susan
take me off of your list
of everyone you think might
be willing to assist you
all your lying is driving me crazy

shut up susan
you really arnt that hard-up
with your parent's credit card
that you are ashaimed of
all your exaggerating is driving me crazy

shut up susan
its really none of your bussiness
what i do with him
i never asked your opinion
all your prying is driving me crazy
Track Name: Thunder roll
Thunder roll, I'm waiting
wont you knock some sense in me

Thunder roll, im baking
in my own insanity

I swear to god there used to be a time when nothing bothered me
but you couldnt tell now with my eyes buggin out
why dont you all agree with me?

thunder roll im aching
from my brains to my knees

thunder roll im waking
mumbling profanities

one, two, three.... get the fuck away from me!

thunder roll im hating
everyone that i see

thunder roll im breaking
all my roommates precious things

i'm a soft spoken girl in a tight fitted skirt
with my hair pinned back neatly
with seductive eyes and rock hard thighs
everybody here wants to fuck me...right?...RIGHT?

thunder roll im faking
my own identity

thunder roll im debating
drinking a gallon of kerosene

one, two, three, get the fuck away from me!

thunder roll im waiting
wont you knock some sense in me

thunder roll im baking
in my own insanity